| wwww.ericluck.net Eric Luck, the website world HQ for self promotion on the www |
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| February 13, 2008 Grand Central Fun I love New York City. One of my favorite places is Grand Central Terminal. That place will stimulate every sense you have and zap you with its energy. There are some artists who thought of a very clever presentation or performance or prank...you decide what to call it. If you move your cursor to the photograph that I took back in September and click it, you will be transported to a video clip of their presentation. It is great fun. (There is no porn there.) |
| February 8, 2008 Colorado It was a particularly snowy holiday season for us in Colorado. |
| February 19, 2008 Dingus McBroadass, er, I mean...air travel News flash from Dallas, Texas: The wheelsoffedness of air travel sucks. Having reported here previously on my tribulations involving airline travel (please see “Snotboogers” in June, 2006 Slipstream), I feel duty bound to proclaim yet another sign that the apocalypse is upon us. Let us begin with the premise that air travel in America is not fun. It is a bold, clear and simple statement. Now I will prove it with a story that has become all too typical among my many flights per year. That is the point. This story is all too typical now. It was a memorable day – sorta like a spleen-ectomy might be memorable. On Monday morning both DFW and Miam-ah, Flahridah sported wonderful weather for flyin’. Since I love to be in the Caribbean and that is where I was headed, life was good. The 8:15 a.m. American Airlines flight bound from DFW to Miami showed “On Time” on the computer at my 5:45 a.m. computer check and again at 6:15 as we left the house for the airport. After the obligatory unpacking for the strip search in the airport, the repacking began. Sidebar - Why is it that once you have unpacked the original pack job, there is no way all the stuff will fit back into the bag? It always looks like I will need about a bag and ¾ to get all the useless crap repackaged and stowed for transport to my destination. I propose that we just pack everything in clear plastic trash bags from now on and bring an extra trash bag along for the post-strip-search-repack. Somehow, the airlines will figure out a way to charge extra for it or for any other plan you might devise. Back to our main story: My itinerary required a flight from DFW to Miami. Next up would be a half-speed jog across the entire length of Miami International Airport (MIA - I have taken this trip many times before) to catch a flight from MIA to St. Thomas, USVI a mere 40 minutes later. Considering it takes 20 to 25 minutes to transverse MIA on a good day, this schedule requires that the flight be, at a minimum, close to on time. I do not check bags when I travel alone for less than a week. It works for me. When Bunny goes anywhere with me on an airplane, it is a four large bag minimum regardless of how long we are going for…but that is another story (please see “Colorado or Bust, May, 2006 Slipstream for an action photo). Bunny’s travel motto includes something about filling all available space. With the airport tv screens continuing to show “On Time” for my flight, it was a pleasant surprise when they called for boarding at 7:45…a half hour prior to scheduled departure. It was a quiet and orderly boarding process. The pilot came on the loudspeaker in the middle of it and said he expected an “On Time” wheels-up. I settled down with a stack of unread Sports Illustrated magazines. By 8:07 a.m., the pilot came on the loudspeaker again to declare that we should expect to lift off in about 8 minutes. In retrospect, it was an interesting announcement. “About 8 minutes?” At 8:40 (I will let you do the math) the pilot came back on the loudspeaker and said in a most disgusted tone, “Apparently the crew in Tulsa failed to execute a proper security inspection of this aircraft this morning leaving our paperwork out of order. In order to get the paperwork in order, we must now conduct that security inspection and to do so we must ask all of you to deplane with all your personal belongings, but please stay in the boarding area.” A quick glance outside indicated that their inspection also required that all the luggage be removed from the plane. This would be a MAJOR undertaking. Cell phones flipped open. Bad words were heard. The only joy was mine because I love it when a union member throws some of their own under the bus. That was clearly happening here. Before I was off the jetway, I was calling American Airlines to evaluate any options. Like I said…I have done this before. There are two ways to fly from DFW to St. Thomas…through Miami or through San Juan, Puerto Rico. Either way can be smooth or it can be torturous. The results are always random. There are no patterns to it. When evaluating air travel options, you really need to be a trained, friggin Navajo code breaker to find your way. I will bottom-line it for you. You can fly to Miami and there is a “good chance” that you will get to St. Thomas by 8:30 pm tonight. You can also fly to San Juan and there is is a “good chance” that you will get to St. Thomas by 8:30 pm tonight. The dinner meeting is at 7:00. Maybe you will understand that I asked why they could not confirm that I could get to St. Thomas by 8:30 tonight by either route. The answer is in the reservation codes. The last few seats on an airplane are under control of the airport from which a flight leaves. So, the ticket agent can only do so much. Hey, that is what they told me. I asked them to evaluate my chances. They declined to do so. How much of a chance is there that I will have to overnight in San Juan or Miami? They do not know or won’t say. I had a dinner meeting tonight in St. John (a 45 minute cab ride plus a 45 minute ferry boat ride away from St. Thomas) and another meeting the next morning at 10 a.m. If I overnight in Miami or San Juan, there is a chance I miss all the meetings and then don’t have access to a telephone to make the morning meeting via conference call. My brain was beginning to ignite into flames. It was now 9:40 a.m. in DFW. We were now at least two hours late. Not good. You have only seconds to decide. It would be easier to trade most of the Dallas Mavericks to New Jersey for Jason Kidd. Uh…inside joke. You kinda have to be in Dallas for that one. The difference between this incident and my previously reported incidentseses is that everyone at the airlines was really nice to me this time and they tried hard to fix it. Nobody acted like a Dingus McBroadass this time. I think that means that they are just getting used to doing business this way. I will miss dinner with the boys tonight. I will make the meeting tomorrow via telephone on the speaker phone in my kitchen in Dallas, Texas. Not the same, but my brain has finally stopped smoldering. |
