www.ericluck.net                                                                                       Eric Luck, the website

                                                                                   October 2006
There is not nearly enough cynicism available on the www these days.  I have pounced onto the information superhighway,
albeit a little late to the party.  With so many ahead of me who have actual talent, I intend to stay behind the leaders and draft.  
That puts me in the slipstream and I am not so much here to protect.  
I am here to serve, baby.
In the Slipstream                
Bloglike, journalesque and periodic. We are very proud.

October 7, 2006                                Indictment Extravaganza Update      




  

I hate to do this again, but due to new developments you might need to look back to the recently rebuilt
November, 2005 Slipstream.

Page down to nearly the bottom to November 1, 2005 and you will read my collection of smart-ass remarks re: the indictment of "Scooter" Libby on five, count
'em, five felony charges.  The charges boil down to the prosecution's claim that he lied to the FBI in questioning about the Valerie Plame case. You know...where
somebody in the government leaked her name and identity as a CIA agent.  Scooter says he learned about Plame from reporters, otherwise, how could he have
known about her at all? Hmmm...

As I recall, my only previous follow-up to that Slipstream were my comments on Ben Affleck's obvious retardation in April, 2006. (See "Movie Star Finds Work").
Ben wanted the President to be shot for treason over the Plame matter.  Somebody tell Ben he is an actor and a not particularly good one and if he doesn't shut
up about everything, we will be forced to have another look at his stellar life-decisions to date.  Know-it-all-comedian-politico-commentator Al Franken spoke up
with his position that no sitting President should actually be executed.  Bold...and very funny.

So, anyway, Special Prosecutor Fitz, launched his assault on the lying bums in the government a year ago.  Now as they all prepare for trial in January, it seems
that Scooter has already decided to take the stand in his own defense.  His lawyers say so. In papers filed with the Court this week, they have made clear that
Scooter will testify on the subject of nine...NINE...matters of national security, under oath on the witness stand.  

Keep it tuned here folks. You can count on me to clear this up for you.

If you haven't already guessed, these matters are classified as top secret and involve names and subjects of numerous foreign powers and various terrorist
organizations.  You may or may not recall that Scooter's initial defense a year ago was the old Steve Martin routine, "I forgot."  Scooter's attorneys intend to
present a plethora of classified information as direct evidence that Scooter was so busy that he forgot, and that is why it looks like he was fibbing to the FBI
when he really wasn't.  Without being able to show the evidence that Scooter was really, really busy, it would be hard to explain how Scooter forgot.

I am not kidding about this. This is how the system works.

In  our legal system, Scooter pretty much has the right to defend himself with this evidence.  Even if the prosecution stipulates that, 'okay, Scooter was really,
really busy', Scooter still gets to show evidence about just how busy he was so the jury can also conclude on their own that he was really, really busy.  Now,
Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald is forced into the delightful position of having to argue that Scooter shouldn't be able to testify as to these top secret
matters. The prosecution must try to limit evidence, not usually a good idea when you have the burden of proof.  The judge will decide how much of this
information is allowed into testimony in his Court.  

Let's just pretend for a minute that the judge says Scooter gets to say anything he wants on these matters...wait.  There is another authority.

If the judge allows even some of the information into Court, the U.S. Intelligence agencies then get to review the "top secret" info and weigh in on whether or not
that info gets to be released to public view.  Well, not exactly weight in. They get to actually decide if the info may be heard in Court.  Here comes the punch line.
If they say that Scooter doesn't get to talk about the secret matters, the trial is toast. Finis. If the judge hasn't already prevented the testimony, what do you think
those agencies will say?

Why don't they check with me on these things?

I wrote a year ago that it seems to me that it is pretty important to some pretty important people that the Vice President's Chief of Staff not be convicted of perjury,
or any other assorted charges.  Does anyone besides me wonder who it is so important to that the Vice President's Chief of Staff be prosecuted for lying to the
FBI? You don't think some of this was politically motivated, do you? But this is how the game is played. Liberals are screaming at their computer screens..."But,
but, but - WHITEWATER and IMPEACHMENT!!!!"

Ain't politics grand? Any chance we could plug a little statesmanship into the overall scenario?

I am pretty sure this prosecution hasn't quite cost us taxpayers as much as the war in Iraq has cost, but could we have saved a little money here and tried
something practical for a change?

I can't wait to vote next month. I am writing in "None of the above."
October 1, 2006                www Mission Statement Exam  

One year ago yesterday, we began this www experiment of torture and ridiculous waste of time. It has turned out to be exactly what I expected it to be.  That
summation in the opening sentence is exactly what it is.

Two hard drive failures on my personal computers moved my www experience from the 'pain in the butt' category of activity fully into the 'total butt whipping' area.
In each instance, the fixers told me there was nothing I could do or could have done to prevent these failures. The pain for this was big.  Apparently, we all have
to live with the danger of computer failure. It feels like I had more than my share this year. This was in a year that I chose to depend on the computer far more
than any other year of my life. Ouch.

As I look over a few of the little missives written throughout the year, the main disappointment is that I failed to follow through on my promise to get
this
woman to play at Bunny's birthday this summer. I just plain forgot. If you did not click on the blue words that say "this woman", go back and do it now. It is
not porn! If you are on dial-up, bag it. It would take forever.

Once the first hard drive failure occurred, it was easy to forget such things because I never really recovered all the pics and links that were lost.  However, in
celebration of one year on the www, I am finally rebuilding the last two missing months from the first hard drive failure.  November and October of 2005 held
some  material that actually made me chuckle when I reread it this week. Since that was and still is the only criteria for material to appear here, I was pleased to
find that some of the material still held up to that high measure.  Bwah-ha-ha.  Give me another week and you will be able to click on October and November
2005 over there on the left and see what I mean.

If my next effort toward writing a book ever comes to fruition, you may see the bit about Sol and Bernie (Oct. 2005) make an appearance in that story.  It was a
funny scene in Chicago's O'Hare Airport last fall. I have re-set it and adapted it into a new story. We'll see.

My interest level in photography has grown over the last year.  Taking a good photo is more difficult than I had previously believed.  Maybe that is why I
occasionally now simply post some of my photos rather than write some silliness.  Photo taking requires some skill, unlike some of the other junk that I do
here.  So I get some satisfaction out of learning enough to take a decent photograph. I say decent as if I have taken one.  In that area, I believe I have acquired a
more critical eye in the past year.  That may be true about writing as well, but in no way does that mean I am good at either pursuit.  Like most people, I tend to
place more value on the things I do not know than on the things I do know. Newness cannot be overrated when it comes to learning new stuff.

As with many new things which yield results from enthusiastic efforts, this website got updated more often in the beginning. Once my own routine ironed out, it
appears that five times a month is a pretty good pace for me.  The wind got snarfed out of my sails in about April when our friend died.  For a while thereafter, it
took some effort to update at all.  But life goes on for the rest of us. Margaret is still missed by many people, including me.

If you look over the opening of this website one year ago, I said some pretty derogatory things about the www. With the little knowledge gained over the last year,
it is now clear that I was being way, way too kind. The www is a quagmire of sin and filth. I fit right in.

Surely the end of the world is near and the www is the sign.

I furnish you my email address on every edition and page of the website, but there is no place for you to put comments as there is on a commercial blog format.
That doesn't mean I don't want to hear from you. That means I don't really care for the software the bloggers use. It is either too difficult for me to learn or too
limiting in what it will allow me to do. I have achieved a balance with this Yahoo software. It has quirks, but all software does.  Email me if you like something or
if you don't. Chances are good I will ignore it either way. That has absolutely nothing to do with you.  Chances are good I will dissolve another hard drive soon.

It has surprised me how few of you click on the LIVE ericluck.net WEBCAM. Yeah, I can tell how many do.  Bunny says I don't make it prominent enough, so
nobody notices it.  Well, it is usually the first thing you see at the top of the page, but okay.

We will be in Lahaina for Halloween again. Should be a few photos out of the deal again so watch for that. Hard for me to believe it will live up to last year's
photo ops.

I have been very busy lately going to school to retain my Certified Financial Planner certificate and painting the outside of the house. Yep, I am your renaissance
man. There are very few new pictures on Flickr and updates to this site have been a little skinny. Thanks for sticking with me and pretending to be interested.

If you bought my book, thanks, whether you liked it or not.  I may write another, whether you want me to or not, because, after all, it is all about me.

Happy www-ing.
OLD STUFF

In the Slipstream
Bloglike, Journalesque
and Occasional.  
We are very proud.

OCTOBER 2006
Multiple Life Sentences
Finally Found My Talent
Indictment Extravaganza Update
www Mission Statement Exam

SEPTEMBER 2006
Bunny Takes Some Killer Photos
Another Hard Drive Failure
Bunny Went to Africa
Photo Toast
Thirty Years Ago

AUGUST 2006
Where Did I Leave My Heart?
Conspiracy Theories
City Greatness
Audio/Visual Giggles
But, It is Rocket Science

JULY 2006
Bunny's Birthday
Spicy Monterrey Club-Gone
Fish Pictures
Water on the Moon
Life Without Computers is good

JUNE 2006
Snotboogers
Pop
Crazy River Dogs
Bunny Hits the Road
Devil Day Survived
fox news Colorado

MAY 2006
Memorial Day
Puttin' on a Nice Spread
Brian at PC House Call
Niece Flown to Iraq
Blackhole in the www
Computer Tribulatioins

APRIL 2006
Author Demands
Words Not Working
Movie Star Finds Work
His Mother's Eyes

MARCH 2006
Bad Voodoo Afoot
Grandma Eva- The Passing of
an Era
More Moving Fun
Academy is Proud to Present
Master Bait and Tackle
Books for Sale

FEBRUARY 2006
Get Moving
Heidi Klum Wearing Just Paint
New Fangled Moving Pictures
California Dreamin'
Old Fat Guy Craving Autofocus
How to Order My Book

JANUARY 2006
Dallas Building Imploded
Self Portrait
Book Cover Revealed
Nation Swept: Best of 2005
Leaving
Frighteningly Unintelligent
Design
Legacy
Infidel Living in a Van Down
by the River

DECEMBER 2005
Gnarly
Powder Days
The Gift Saga Continues
Chronicles of a Gift
Christmas Greetings from the
Lucks
Book Review: "Liquid Bones"
Wishing, Hoping, Begging for
Peace

NOVEMBER 2005
Runaway Jury Doody
Give Thanks for Wrasslin'
Sweet Ride in Paradise
Porn, Brad, Angelina & Naked
Kitties
Notebook Unload: Random but
www Fun
Driveway Paved
New, Improved & Nicer
Costume Frenzy
Indictment Extravaganza

OCTOBER 2005
Travails of Travels With Bunny
My www Welcome
Pass the Butter
Mick, Rhymes With Ick
World's Biggest Hot Dog
hypnotized & mesmerized
In the Slipstream - the original
www.flickr.com
lucky e's photos More of lucky e's photos
To hear about actual
talent, tune in to my
son's website at:

www.reefcast.com

My son and his buddy
produce podcasts on
building big aquariums
and growing salt water
reefs. Not kidding.
Evan is the man.
email me at
eric@ericluck.net
October 20, 2006                                             Multiple Life Sentences







A friend sent me a copy of the transcript from the sentencing of Richard Reid. That was the British idiot stick that figured he
would bring down an American Airlines plane by lighting explosives in his Converse Chuck Taylor high tops. I am amazed that
I really hadn't heard anything about his trial or his sentencing. Somehwere in my memory banks I had noted he was guilty and
in prison, but I do not remember seeing anything on TV or otherwise about it. Get this:   This sentencing was almost four
years ago. This guy shoulda got extra time just for destroying the Chucks.

Prior to sentencing, the Judge asked the defendant if he had anything to say. His response: After admitting his guilt to the
court for the record, Reid also admitted his "allegiance to Osama bin Laden, to Islam, and to the religion of Allah," defiantly
stated "I think I will not apologize for my actions," and told the court "I am at war with your country."

Judge William Young, US District Court, then delivered the statement quoted below, January 30, 2003 - United States vs. Reid.

Judge Young:
"Mr. Richard C. Reid, hearken now to the sentence the Court imposes upon you. On counts 1, 5 and 6 the Court sentences
you to life in prison in the custody of the United States Attorney General.  On counts 2, 3, 4 and 7, the Court sentences you to
20 years in prison on each count, the sentence on each count to run consecutive with the other.

That is 80 years.  On count 8 the Court sentences you to the mandatory 30 years consecutive to the 80 years just imposed.  
The Court imposes upon you each of the eight counts a fine of $250,000 for the aggregate fine of $2 million.  The Court
accepts the government's recommendation with respect to restitution and orders restitution in the amount of $298.17 to Andre
Bousquet and $5,784 to American Airlines.  The Court imposes upon you the $800 special assessment.  The Court imposes
upon you five years supervised release simply because the law requires it.  But the life sentences are real life sentences so I
need go no further.  This is the sentence that is provided for by our statutes.  It is a fair and just sentence.  It is a righteous
sentence.         

Let me explain this to you.  We are not afraid of you or any of your terrorist co-conspirators, Mr. Reid.  We are Americans.  We
have been through the fire before.  There is all too much war talk here and I say that to everyone with the utmost respect.  Here
in this court, we deal with individuals as individuals and care for individuals as individuals.  As human beings, we reach out
for justice.         

You are not an enemy combatant.  You are a terrorist.  You are not a soldier in any war.  You are a terrorist.  To give you that
reference, to call you a soldier, gives you far too much stature.  Whether it is the officers of government who do it or your
attorney who does it, or if you think you are a soldier.  You are not----- you are a terrorist.  And we do not negotiate with
terrorists.  We do not meet with terrorists.  We do not sign documents with terrorists.  We hunt them down one by one and
bring them to justice.
    
So war talk is way out of line in this court.  You are a big fellow. But you are not that big.  You're no warrior.  I've know warriors.  
You are a terrorist.  A species of criminal that is guilty of multiple attempted murders.  In a very real sense, State Trooper
Santiago had it right when you first were taken off that plane and into custody and you wondered where the press and where
the TV crews were, and he said: "You're no big deal."

You are no big deal.

What your able counsel and what the equally able United States attorneys have grappled with and what I have as honestly as I
know how tried to grapple with, is why you did something so horrific.  What was it that led you here to this courtroom today?

I have listened respectfully to what you have to say.  And I ask you to search your heart and ask yourself what sort of
unfathomable hate led you to do what you are guilty and admit you are guilty of doing.  And I have an answer for you.  It may not
satisfy you, but as I search this entire record, it comes as close to understanding as I know.
    
It seems to me you hate the one thing that to us is most precious. You hate our freedom.  Our individual freedom.  Our
individual freedom to live as we choose, to come and go as we choose, to believe or not believe as we individually choose.  
Here, in this society, the very wind carries freedom.  It carries it everywhere from sea to shining sea.  It is because we prize
individual freedom so much that you are here in this beautiful courtroom.  So that everyone can see, truly see, that justice is
administered fairly, individually, and discretely.  It is for freedom's sake that your lawyers are striving so vigorously on your
behalf and have filed appeals, will go on in their representation of you before other judges.

We Americans are all about freedom.  Because we all know that the way we treat you, Mr. Reid, is the measure of our own
liberties.  Make no mistake though.  It is yet true that we will bare any burden; pay any price, to preserve our freedoms.  Look
around this courtroom.  Mark it well.  The world is not going to long remember what you or I say here.  Day after tomorrow, it
will be forgotten, but this, however, will long endure.  Here in this courtroom and courtrooms all across America, the American
people will gather to see that justice, individual justice, justice, not war, individual justice is in fact being done.  The very
President of the United States through his officers will have to come into courtrooms and lay out evidence on which specific
matters can be judged and juries of citizens will gather to sit and judge that evidence democratically, to mold and shape and
refine our sense of justice.

See that flag, Mr. Reid?  That's the flag of the United States of America  That flag will fly there long after this is all forgotten.  
That flag stands for freedom.  And it always will.

Mr. Custody Officer.  Stand him down."




Eric's note:
Notwithstanding my own rantings in this forum on the subject, I am volunteering for jury duty.
NOW EVEN
FROTHIER!
October 25, 2006                 The Great Magnum P.I. Wronged


























We ran across some extra double-top-secret audiotape from a business meeting held this past summer.  It was a meeting of
the Aces High Promotional Company who were conducting their annual brainstorming sessions regarding the booths and
amusements to be installed in October for the State Fair of Texas at Fair Park in Dallas. Aces High is run by the rotund, cigar-
chomping,  cholesterol reading record setting advertising and promotional wizard, Gus Whistlebottom. Long thought to have
mob ties, Gus only knows one way...his way. His stalwart employees are none other than the infamous (to readers of this
forum) Jimmy Jakoff and Jack Jimoff. After a tumultuous recent three month run as advance scouts for Arby's Sandwich Shops,
the young twenty-something masters of the universe brought their bluetooth sets, PDAs, blonde-highlight tipped hair, micro
wool slacks, mondo tanning bed hours and their Italian loafers that would make your own baby's butt seem like sandpaper to
Dallas. The boys are now gellin' like Magellan as contract consultant promo studs for Mr. Gus Whistlebottom. We are unable to
podcast the tape, but offer you a transcript below. Gus started the meeting:

'Put down that crystal swan gravy boat, you imbecile. That was given to me by the great Buddy Hackett back in the day. You panty-
waists plant it. Here's what we gotta do. We gotta come up with some cutting edge stuff...bein' some new rides for the State Fair
of Texas in October. The boys that run that show say the public is tired of pig races and butter sculptures. We gotta get with the
times and put on a real show for the folks."

"Sure thing, Mr. Whistlebottom," said Jimmy.

"Shut-up, Jakoff.   Look, the "Leave it to Beaver Splash-n-Dash Sack Race" just ain't gettin' it for the folks in anymore. We gotta
bring in some new blood. Here is a list of the old rides and booths that they tell us we are supposed to consider replacing:
Jake and the Fatman Fish, Okra and Twinkie Fry Booth
Beverly Hillbilly Moonshine Truck Track
Dr. Marcus Welby Blood Pressure Booth
Murder She Wrote Haunted House
Wiley Coyote Anvil Chucking Booth
Father Knows Best Garden Planting and Weed Pulling Game
Speedy Gonzalez All Things Jalapeno Tent
Bozo the Clown Nose Honking Ring Toss Booth
Bugs Bunny/Elmer Fudd Shotgun Fun
Flintstone Rock Quarry

"Boss? You want to bring it up to date, some rap, R & B acts, sparkles and lasers, low rider shows, MTV stuff like Pimp My
Ride...."

"What? We ain't pimpin' nothin. You guys are idiots. Get those stupid sissy shoes off my desk and take off those sunglasses.
We gotta use big stars to attract the gate. You know, and more fried stuff for those baby boomers. They got the money, not those
MTV kids. They bring nothin' but trouble. We don't need more stinkin' kids. We gotta use themes banked by the big stars.  You
know, like Sally Strothers, or Dolly Parton. Oh, baby, yeah, something Dolly Parton would really bring 'em in. How about a Marilyn
Monroe ride or some such? Maybe something fun involving Gina Lollabrigida or some of the big music stars like Gene Krupa,
Glenn Miller, or if you have to bring in some stuff for the kids, how about that Cowsills group or The Partridge Family or K.C. and
that Sunshine Band. Hey...are those Monkees still together?"

"Who?"

"How about that Paul Revere and the Raiders? You guys know them?"

"Huh? Boss, listen," said Jack, "We have to bring that Fair up to date. The kids bring in their parent's money if you give them
what they want and they even bring in their parents, because the parents don't want the kids out at the Fair alone. Shahhh."

"Hey," said Gus. "You guys work on something with that Magnet P.I guy. The kids love that guy. Use the set for the Bozo ring toss
ride. We gotta replace it anyway. We'll just use the same ride, but updated to the Magnet P.I. guy.  Paint right over the Bozo face...
hair and all. I think Magnet has brown hair so you gotta change that red to brown somehow and get the trademark Magnet
moustache on Bozo's face. I think Magnet wore a baseball cap...Detroit or some such. Put that hat on him so the kids will
recognize him, but make the hat really, really big... so big that people stop and look at it. We gotta cover up that Bozo's red hair
with something."

"Boss?" said Jimmy. "We have to put more on there to attract the kids. They are not going to have a clue who Magnet is. We don't
know who Magnet is. Nothing speaks to those kids like an Ipod. Let's put up a giant Ipod and some sunglasses that light up.
The headphones to the Ipod could outline the ticket booth or something. Then the giant glasses could be out front.  We'll make it
really classy, Boss. Then Magnet can bring in the parents and the giant Ipod can bring in the kids."

"OHHH!" yelled Jack. "I got it. Instead of a Detroit cap, we can make it a visor with a script "M" on it to put on Magnet's head. You
know..."M" for Magnet. Nothing says today like a visor. Baseball caps are so yesterday. What color is a Detroit cap, Boss?"

"Black. Detroit has solid black caps with a script "D" for Detroit," said Gus.

"Drab. Black is drab. How about blue? Blue is happening," said Jack.

"Detroit wears black caps," said Gus.

"Blue is happening," said Jimmy.

"Fine. Whatever. But find someplace else for the stupid visor. Magnet's head has to have a really, really big Detroit cap on it, just
like his show...and even if it is blue. Good God, there is something seriously wrong with you guys. We need bright lights
everywhere. Blind 'em with the lights. I think that Magnet guy drove a Ferrari in that show, so paint a red Ferrari on there
somewhere...and a sailboat. Put a sailboat on there.  He didn't have a sailboat, but put one on there anyway. I once passed up
buying a blue suit with little sailboats all over it. I'll regret it until the day I die. Put a sailboat on there. The kids'll never know. Add
palm trees. He was in Hawaii or some such. Palm trees look like Hawaii, eh? Boys the whole set has gotta be bright. Really
and attention getter.  When the folks walk by, I want their teeth to hurt from the bright lights and stunning colors. Put flags all over
it and tons of lights. But make it classy. Real, real classy. Now get outta here. I gotta work on the "Burl Ives Karaoke Corner."  
We're really bringin' this pig up to date, baby."
October 13, 2006                                Finally Found My Talent      

Beard growing is now my full time occupation.

Before Photoshop:








After Photoshop:                                                                                             Run for your lives.














My goal:








Probable actual result:









My heroes:











October 05 is finally rebuilt. Read about how the whole slimy business actually started. Learn how the little woman got the name "Bunny." Remember Sol
and Bernie's Vacation Poop. You can also learn that Mickey Roarke was way, way retarded before Ben Affleck. It is all there.

If another of my computers goes down, these pages will never appear again. It would be a blessing.