Mystery/Suspense novel "Most Fortunate Son" by Eric Luck


		January 20, 2006 BOOK COVER REVEALED As long as you are all still so dressed up, I have just approved the cover design from PublishAmerica and it is below. OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE "Most Fortunate Son" by Eric Luck March 27, 2006 Bunny says to tell you that she posed for the picture. No, the book is not about a rogue nudist colony in the Caribbean. That's not a bad idea, though. I smell sequel. Let me know what you think of the cover at eric@ericluck.net. Soon, I will post here the information about how to order your copy.

	January 18, 2006 NATION SWEPT: Best of ericluck.net in 2005 It was a long weekend in Vegas for the Board of Directors of ericluck.net. We reviewed all three months of material offered during the previous calendar year. It took at least half an hour. Most of them fell asleep, just like they did when they read the stuff the first time. Accordingly, we present the best, such as it is, of ericluck.net during 2005. SNIPPETS OF SHINY Every time I re-use material, it keeps me from having to think up new stuff. We set goals quite low here in order to feel better when we actually reach one. Want evidence? Here, our goals can often be reached…inadvertently. If you are going to www, do it excellently. If you can't do it well, learn to enjoy doing it mediocre-ly. Www is not real life. It is not nearly as funny as real life. If you don’t like it, you can shut down the computer and go watch the episode of “The View” that you secretly TIVO’d. That is where I am headed in a minute. As a website owner, you must always keep in mind that you must have a target market. Aim at an audience. Mine is a specific demographic. It is aimed at my brother, my son, my wife and myself. This group covers a couple of generations and geographic parameters. It is admittedly a little too heavily male in nature. I know this because Cheri disapproves of everything I put here. Everything. We need to use the system to our advantage. We got to get us some colorful content. "Pander, pander, pander" is our new motto. Could I be less impressed with members of the press? Not a chance. And my expectations of them are extra-double low. It is such a slimy business that I told my son as he graduated from high school that if he intended to pursue a career as a journalist or any derivation or product thereof, I was out. Ask him. Now he’s a mondo www computer guy doing this stuff for people who pay him to do it and has no time to help me figure out the www because I don't pay him. I only gave him life. People pay you to do this crap? This all reminds me of the big regret of my life. No, not the porn. Real funny. By the way, after reading this, C has insisted that I refer to her heretofore as "Bunny" or "the wife". Something about not wanting anyone to know that she and I are actually together, but she was mumbling that part. Without question, part of the price I pay for being a ‘some-nonsense’ kind of guy is the total lack of credibility I retain at the very moment that I might mean real business. I really did write a mystery/suspense story that is going to be published into a novel. There are parts of the book that I hope make you laugh, but it is not quite like this ridiculous journalized pile of hooey. My brother says I am too contrary. Bunny jumped on the bandwagon and yelled her endorsement of that fairy tale in my only good ear. After initial resistance (my normal approach to everything), I told Bunny that I would try to be nicer to everyone. I think she bought it. Evan graduated from college in the Spring. I hereby offer my heartfelt and public thank-you to him for his flawless execution of a true four-year plan. He is the man! The graduation itself was a blastus-majorus. That wasn’t the end of the fun. He has a job and…get this…they pay him. Here’s the pluses that I have recognized so far: Cash flow for mom and dad. My Hello!Kitty checkbook clearly indicates it. That’s all the pluses I can think of. We had him at home for a little while this summer but he is gone now. We really miss him and that goes for his little dog too. Evan’s life transition is different than mine. He’s moving from devotion to his NCAA foam finger collection, playing computer video games into the wee hours and feeding his piranhas to managing real computer projects for real, live Internet clients. When you call his office, someone asks if they can tell him who is calling. Good grief. Cheri and I keep giving fake names and then we hope they announce it throughout the office on the loudspeaker. Last week he said people were asking him if he really knows Condoleeza Rice. I don’t know. That college graduation deal just gave me and Cher a license to misbehave. It is always dubious when a known smart-ass claims he wasn't being a smart-ass. Let me add here that all you conservative-leaners should wipe that silly, smug smirk off your face. I am able to find enormous entertainment value in the extremes in both directions. Do not, even for a minute, think you are immune from me making fun of you. As a matter of fact, count on it. That ditto-head comedian, Rush Limbaugh, wishes he could entertain as much as these crazy-ass triple-liberal Hawaiians. Yeah, I know I told Bunny I’d try to be nicer, but watch it. I guess the e-mail advertising businesses get your new website name and then send you stuff you would rather not even now exists. Sir Spamalot, the mad internet e-mail advertiser, has forced upon me a spamalicious-sandwich, a rancid spam-fried burrito, a spam, shrimp and warm-mayonnaise sandwich and a virtual spamalanche of penile- enlargement herb and woody preservative e-mail. I’m not sure how large a male organ is supposed to be. Sir Spamalot the e-mail advertiser seems to have recognized an intense need in my vicinity. The hell? MAYBE NOT QUITE AS COMPELLING OUT OF CONTEXT In an open letter to Mickey Roarke: Are you retarded? Did the doctor liposuck the humility out of your head? I know you don’t know what the word humility means. Look it up. Yes, all by yourself. Regarding a USVI limo driver: First off, Mohammed is a marketing genius. His spanking new business cards now say his name is “Mike”. He says nothing about his reasoning for printing new cards with a new name. We asked him. He just shrugged. In fact, neither Mohammed nor Mike have much to say at all about anything. We surmised that he ferries many American visitors around St. Thomas. To some Americans, Mohammed might be a less benign name than Mike. Maybe that was reflected in his tips. Genius. If you ever saw "The Dukes of Hazzard," you know that Bo and Duke occasionally went airborne in the very orange car dubbed the General Lee. I’d like to see them do it in an ’86 Astro minivan, baby. You da man, Mike. Mike performed this maneuver at the precise moment we passed a sign that I read in a blur to say “Speed Limit 10”. While we were in the air, I swear, Mike’s cell phone rang. The tune was the theme from the movie “48 Hours” with Eddie Murphy as Axel Foley. After we left the earth, but before touchdown, Mike picked up his cell phone, flipped it open and said “hello”. Flippin’ sweet. My personal favorite Letter to the editor of the Maui News: Popular bottled water linked to getting avian flu My friend thinks he can catch the avian flu from drinking too much of that bottled French-sounding water Evian. On another note, we don’t need no stinking Olowalu Village. Michael Morrison, Kihei Regarding rampant near nakedness at Lahaina, Maui Halloween celebration: Now, sorry for this narrative interruption to your viewing, but we are going to have to discuss this next shot of one of my son's future-girlfriends. I am fairly certain that she did not pull an Ed Norton and leave the house without her pants by accident. If so, that means that she meant to not have any pants on. Is this a good plan? No...I mean like, ever? When he brings her home, I will do my best to welcome her to the family, but it will be darn difficult to keep from snickerin' about everybody having seen her bottom. Regarding the “Chronicles of Narnia” movie: One of the main heroes was a talking lion who selflessly sacrificed himself for his people. The story had kids ascending to the throne of an imaginary country, not because they were virtuous or smarter than the rest or because they did something amazing. As a matter of fact, throughout the story it seemed as if these four kids mostly got there purely by accident. I think it was because they were Republicans. Twelve year olds across America will spend the ride home picking it apart because, “like…it could never happen”. Look. We know that. Can’t you just enjoy the fantasy? Not if you are twelve. If you speak with a twelve year old about the things they DO like, you will have a much shorter conversation than if you talk about anything they wish to discuss. They are twelve. Everything sucks. Like, they knew it would suck before it even started, okay? They knew it would suck before it was, like, even made. LINKS FROM THE ABYSMAL DEPTHS Finally, I have located the most annoying woman in the world and she is here. Oh yes...she will be playing at Bunny's next birthday party. Personally, I miss Bill Clinton. He was fun. And after all, isn’t that what the President is supposed to provide us? Info- tainment? I could re-visit the sordid eight years we spent watching his antics, but let’s have a parade instead. Oh, somebody already had one. With floats. Look at this. I guess I’m not the only one who misses him. Here is a link to a very clever, humorous and pointless animated video that I think you will enjoy. I know I did. It is not porn. This dilapidation of attitude has roots in the trip prep to Colorado. Hopefully, you saw the wireless webcam shot of us driving to Colorado. Bunny disputed its accuracy. I will get it notarized. Twice. Here is a refresher for your memory. That load wasn’t the end, though. As I expended my last bit of duct tape to the bundles strapped to the Toyota which we had acquired after 48 hours in Denver, Bunny announced we had to stop at Costco on the way for just a few items more. Then she unfurled, I am talking a literal shake of the arm and a list UNFURLED several feet before man, beast and the Gasamat desk guy as I paid for gas. Here is what we looked like as we left Denver and headed into a WINTER STORM WARNING!! Nine to twelve fluffy inches expected while we drove for the next four hours. I tried to keep the pack mules in the back in line. You can’t see them in this photo, but there were seven of them. We made it, but two of the mules had to be shot. Frostbite and exhaustion. I think they were the ones carrying wrapping paper and bundt pans. For the love of golf, why? We have to be the only people who must have sherpas to help get us to our Christmas destination because of all the useless crap that we must bring with us. But must we? No...really. I have a gift for you. I have an account on flickr where I post photos sometimes. Most of them you have seen mine already. That is not the gift. There are some fabulously talented photographers posting there. There are photographs there that can make you remember that there is some good out in the world. Oh, you can find the smut if you want it, but here’s an idea. Don’t look for it. Look here instead: http://www.flickr.com/photos/lucky_e Now, when you go there, you can certainly look at my photos, but that is not the good part. Go to lucky e’s Favorites. These are my favorite photos taken by others and posted on flickr. Set it to show you a slide show of them. When the show gets to the end of a page, go to the next page. There are some enormously talented people out there. You are about to get to admire some of them. You will be glad, maybe even happy.

				Based on feedback from you, the two most favorited Slipstreams from 2005 were: October 28 - Travails of Travels with Bunny October 12 - World's Biggest Hot Dog - Sol and Bernie's Pre Vacation Poop Please refer to the October Archives for In the Slipstream if you would like to read them again.

			January 10, 2006 Frighteningly Unintelligent Design Pat Robertson’s comments about Ariel Sharon's stroke being divine retribution for "dividing God's land" of Israel are the misguided, shallow and scary arrogant comments of someone in the throes of having a stroke themselves. I am certain there are some good people involved with the Christian Coalition founded by Robertson. A decent person surely must question comments such as these and wonder if he is the right leader for them...or if he is any kind of leader at all. Who watches and listens to a person that says such things? This type of ludicrous comment is not isolated on the resume’ of Mr. Robertson. It has plenty of absurd statement company. Undoubtedly, some people only tune in to see if there is a train wreck today on Pat Robertson's show. But his arrogance of notion that he has a superior ability to interpret God’s word is so absurd, so bizarre that it defies comment. Then to loop his interpretation of the word of God into an appearance of Godly support for his extreme political positions creates a surreal fog that defies believability. Rush Limbaugh? Maybe he’s not quite in the same boat, but he is floating in a similar boat nearby, being the boat for an entertainer prone to bouts of temporary retardation fits. But Rush isn’t flying the flag of speaking for God. Rush seems to be aware of exactly what he is and he enjoys being that. No matter what Rush says, you can be certain there are no apologies forthcoming. Al Franken? Here is a comedian turned anti-Rush broadcaster purely to refute anything said by Rush. I don’t know if Al believes in God, much less if he thinks he is speaking for Him. Is bitter desire for vengeance a good motivation to stop being a comedian and start becoming a political broadcaster? I will have to check with a good journalism school on that one. Oh, never mind. There aren’t any good ones. I’ll defend that statement another day. So, here is the problem at the forefront, from my own view. Robertson actually believes the many verbal hand grenades he tosses around randomly and later apologizes for having said. His apologies are not recants of his amazing statements. They are purely acknowledgement that marketing his enormous money making machine to the people who give him money is made difficult by airing his extreme views. I am positive Pat Robertson has done many good things during his life. His list of accomplishments is lengthy and admirable. It is my opinion that Robertson besmirches himself with his own words and his own actions. He has destroyed his own credibility, whatever amount he ever had. Maybe it would be best to let Pat speak for himself here. Pay close attention to the quotation marks. That means those words were actually said…out loud. Buckle up, kids. It’s gonna get bumpy. In January, 1991, on his television show,"The 700 Club", Pat Robertson attacked a number of Protestant denominations, declaring, "You say you're supposed to be nice to the Episcopalians and the Presbyterians and the Methodists and this, that, and the other thing. Nonsense. I don't have to be nice to the spirit of the Antichrist.” “…the spirit of the Antichrist.”?? And he didn’t even mention the Catholics? Pat Robertson agreed with frequent guest Jerry Falwell merely days after the attacks in 2001, that the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks were caused by “pagans, abortionists, feminists, gays, lesbians, the ACLU and the People for the American Way.” I have seen the film of this show. After public outcry regarding this particular exchange of dialogue and its clearly heartfelt endorsement, Robertson stated that he had not understood what Falwell was saying during the interview. Anybody having trouble understanding the words in quotation marks? Pat Robertson is a Yale educated attorney. In October of 2005, Pat said a recent spate of natural disasters pointed to the end of the world. If the end would have just occurred by Thanksgiving, it might have kept Pat from having to apologize for his August statements about Hugo Chavez. In August of 2005, Robertson said the United States should assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. He flat-out said on his television program that Mr. Chavez should be selectively killed. In a shocking development, later he apologized for the remark. Look, in spite of singer Harry Belafonte's opinion, Hugo Chavez is not a good guy. He is fairly focused on doing anything that will not help the USA. Surely there is some appropriate response to such a person short of a purported religious leader calling on public airwaves for him to be assassinated. Seriously, how much fun would it be to hear Pat’s handlers telling him he messed up and had to apologize? Do you suppose it went something like, “But…but…but he should be assassinated, so why do I have to apologize?” Maybe Pat should issue monthly apologies to cover anything he said in the previous month. Then we could just tune in to hear the apologies. Robertson had made suggestions that the explosion of a nuclear weapon at the United States State Department Headquarters would be good for our country. Not kidding. He then repeated those comments on the air. "What we need is for somebody to place a small nuke at Foggy Bottom,” Robertson said during his television program, referring to the location of the State Department headquarters. It is impossible for me to conclude anything but that there is a significant level of hate in Pat Robertson’s world. So, is he a man of God just because he claims to be that? Robertson has described feminism as a “socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” He must get away with such statements because people are laughing and they really don't think he could possibly be serious. He is dead serious. Is there a person, movement or organization that truly “encourages women to kill their children, practice witchcraft and become lesbians?” Is it even possible to “become a lesbian?” Can you be voted one? Women seem to leave their husbands in droves anyway, without encouragement, mostly because we men are a bunch of jerkwads. Maybe they are leaving to become lesbians. As for killing children, well, who couldn’t understand that? Pat has suggested voters in a certain Pennsylvania town should not expect God's help should they face a natural disaster after they ousted a school board which had mandated the teaching of creationism. For that town’s sake, I hope Pat isn’t praying to steer a hurricane in their direction. I guess I can be a little more tolerant of Pat Robertson’s views on his ability to steer hurricanes away from his companies’ Virginia Beach, Virginia headquarters. Hey, he has a lot of faith in God’s response to prayer. A lot of faith. But to arrogantly claim that his prayers actually evoked God to steer the storm away from Virginia Beach is painful to ponder. Pat doesn’t just infer that the people hit by the storm deserved God’s wrath. He says it straight out. Finally, but mostly because I have just had enough, last year Pat suggested that the threat to the United States from liberal "activist judges" was, well, serious. There may be a smidge of truth to that assessment the way I said it. If only he had just stopped there. Whether or not there is any truth to that statement is not the point. Here is Robertson's quote: "Over 100 years, I think the gradual erosion of the consensus that’s held our country together is probably more serious than a few bearded terrorists who fly into buildings." That is so callous and so hurtful and so out-there that I do not know how to respond. You smug, smirking liberals should shut up and listen for a change. If I knew Hillary Clinton or Ted Kennedy, they might tell you with some certainty that I am a fairly conservative guy. Pat Robertson does not define “conservative”, despite what he might tell you, despite what Hillary and Ted might tell you and despite what Pat wishes. Pat Robertson does not speak for me…ever. We should all check individually with God, but I am pretty confident Robertson does not speak for God either. If you liberals don’t ease off with that “told-you-so” attitude, I will pick any of two dozen idiots with a more liberal bend to define you. I guarantee you won’t like any of my choices. Here’s a tip: All of us should choose our leaders and our heroes wisely. Once you have chosen, never send them any money for any reason whatsoever. As soon as they purport to have the right to tell you what God has on his mind or that they have influence on what God thinks, choose someone else immediately, if not sooner. Let’s go back to Ariel Sharon for just a minute. Pat Robertson is recently recovering from prostate cancer. Using Pat’s own logic about Mr. Sharon's health issues, what do you suppose Pat thinks God had in mind there? His website doesn’t say. I’ll try to be calmer tomorrow.

	January 5, 2006 Legacy Meet Bill and Pat. This is a photograph of my parents. This is my favorite photo of them and I have many. It is vintage 1949 and was taken at a dance at TCU in Ft. Worth, Texas where they both went to college. Pop graduated in 1950. Mom graduated in 1951. He took more than four years. She took less. Bill was a Navy pilot and served in Korea. When he came back, he became a Petroleum Geologist and spent his entire career with Phillips Petroleum. Pat was an elementary school teacher. He and Pat married in 1952 at University Christian Church in Ft. Worth, Texas. Those are great pictures too. Wish I had been there but glad I wasn't, if you know what I mean. My dad had something token to do with planning that dance or decorating or some such. He told me that much or rather that is all I can remember of what he told me because, well, he was my dad. I didn’t listen to him unless absolutely necessary. That was my error, by the way. I should have listened better because now I have questions and he probably answered them already. I just didn’t listen. Hope my son reads this. That is doubtful. My bet is that the whole dance thing was some kind of ruse on his part to get to sit near my mom for a few minutes. Looks like it worked. Thank you God. It is interesting that all the other tables are empty. That makes this taken before the actual festivities or after them. My guess – decoration time, pre- dance. They both look fairly fresh. One Coke and one water. Life has not beaten either of them down yet. That sandwichy looking, falafel-esque item on their table looks dangerous. I would wager nobody ate it. My dad was just past 22 years old here. Nice Band Aid on the index finger, Pop. Sympathy ploy? Mom was 20 or about to turn 20 in October of 1949. It appears to me that they are in the awkward, getting to know stage, but there is no way to confirm or deny. Was my mom a dish or what? My son says I need to seek some therapy because I think that my own mom was “hot.” I haven't shown him pictures of his own mom yet. He couldn't handle it. Those will await just the right moment. He just thinks I need some therapy. Hey…I know “hot” when I see it and I got more evidence on my own mom than the above shapshot. Check out these: When my son saw these he said he might need some therapy too, because old Dad is onto something with that “hot” assessment. See. And as for you, Pop, wipe that smug smirk off your face and keep your hands to yourself on that date. He looks way too pleased with himself here and from the look of my mom, with good reason. I love the picture at the top the most. They look so young. So much effort is being expended to stifle emotions and stay in control. Dweebiness throttles are all set to “Maximum Suppression.” Neither will completely smile for the camera else some true emotion might show through that very thin veneer. Thank you to whoever took this. I didn’t show up on the scene for five more years. Kirk came about three and a half years after me. Pop died in 1992 at age 65 which was way too young. Mom had already died of cancer in 1980 just a few days after she turned 51 years old. Now I am 51 years old. I still miss them both and always will. My brother says the same thing. We have more pictures. They are good too. That one up top is my favorite.

January 1, 2006 An Infidel Living in a Van Down by the River If Bunny proposes owning any more houses in 2006…that will be me pictured above. We’re a little heavy into real estate at the moment. For some reason, we just keep adding to the fleet without selling any current holdings. It’s like a giant game of “Chicken Monopoly”. You get in your car, or van, and drive as fast as you can on the left side of the road. Along the way you acquire more and more real estate, never selling anything. You only win by not veering away from oncoming traffic. Oh, sure, you die in a fiery crash and make everyone miserable, but you still have all that real estate, so you win the game. Huh? One thing for sure. The polished granite countertop industry is set up for a record revenue year in 2006, thanks to me. As we slide on into the New Year, Iraq is on my mind. I have a niece who has been to Iraq many times. She is a soldier. I have lost sleep over her numerous trips as have her parents. She and the planes she has been on have been shot at. She has not been hit. I am not for the war. But I am for freedom and democracy. I am for my niece and her colleagues in the armed forces. These are easy things to say. It would be difficult to find people to argue with me so far. How much should we Americans pay for the Iraqis’ freedom? So far we have paid a lot. We have paid with the lives of nearly 2,500 of the very best the USA has to offer. Should we have gone there at all? The people we elected said “yes”. Not just the President. He has become quite a lightning rod for all bad feelings about everything. We all saw the same thing happen to President Clinton when he was impeached. When just under half the voters voted against you, there are strong feelings. That is the way democracy works. Congress had a landslide vote in support of the Iraq invasion. Do not fall for that rhetorical crap some Congressmen are dishing out now. The ones screaming the loudest voted in favor of the war at the time. Here is what I am for: I am in favor of this lady. What do you see in this photograph? Despite the traditional dress designed to disguise her, to hide her, I see defiance. I do not care what she wears or what religion she practices. I care that she chooses. Defiance is dripping down her finger in purple and she is pleased. No. It isn’t pleasure. It is entitlement. She believes she deserves the right to have a say in what happens in her country. I see determination, enormous determination. I see a lot of pride. She voted for the first time in her life. She is not a young girl. She knows what this means. It means that maybe her own daughter will have a say in how her own life turns out. People in America who are eligible to vote and do not register, or choose not to vote for any reason should be required to study this photograph. Honorable people died so you could have that right. Now, honorable people have died so she could have that right. Those brown eyes are pretty challenging and very, very confident. How confident has she been allowed to be during her life? I suspect confidence is not a familiar feeling to this woman. Consider that when her country was run by a dictator, a lying dictator who murdered his own people by the thousands, that black fabric was not allowed to uncover her face at all under penalty of death. There is anger. There is anger at her own countrymen who are determined that she should remain quiet and keep her thoughts to herself; Anger that the Americans must be in her country to help keep her own people from reigning terror on her and her family. I suspect she has had to witness things that I hope to never see or even know about. Certainly if she hasn’t seen such things, she knows about them. Some of the things we Americans have done in her country have helped this woman. She is showing us. She is proud to show us that some of what we have done has helped. I see hope. She has hope for the future of her family and of her country. If what I see in that photo is correct, our kids have not died without reason. I hope I am right. It seems fairly clear to me when I look in her eyes. This is a very powerful photograph. If I knew who took it I would give them credit they deserve. I saw it on the internet without a credit attached to it. After significant thought, I have concluded that if I took this photo, I would want people to see it and think about it more than I would want credit for taking it. So I beg for benevolence from the photographer. You took an important picture. I am overwhelmed by the emotion of this photograph. This photo tells me that at least some of what we have tried to do for this woman’s country is right. It is the confirmation that all Americans should want to have. I believe there are literally millions of people in Iraq like this woman. They have hope. She has hope. I have hope. We have paid an enormous price for the country of Iraq to become a democracy. It is arguable as to whether or not the price is too high. I admit wavering back and forth. I don’t want my son to go there. I don’t want him to go there for all the reasons I sifted through when my niece was there. It is painful to consider despite the fact that she is safely home now. It is a painful reality to lose so many like my own son for any reason. But believe me when I say this…I would go. I would be pleased to contribute to helping this woman and any like her. How many of the 2,500 we have lost felt that same way? I will bet...some did. I will bet most did. Argue politically about why we did anything in this woman’s country. That is the correct and healthy thing to do. That is what democracy allows and encourages. That is what this woman should be able to do as well. But do not deny this woman. I can see. She should not be denied. She is part of this argument. She should be able to participate in the argument. She has a say. She is entitled. That ought to set the tone for a new year. Past issues of the semi blog-like and journalesque "In the Slipstream" are archived in all their HTML glory under "OLD STUFF" to your left and at the top. Some are funnier than this one. Some not. But seriously, how much time do you really have on your hands?